Richard J. Chandler

Composer for Performing Musicians

Primary and Secondary Concerns: Facing Life’s Challenges Directly & Creatively

Take Two+ Tuesday
A Quote, a Thought + an Enriching Link


“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

– Mark Twain   A one-paragraph bio and more Mark Twain quotes here on our website

Thought: Primary and Secondary Concerns: Facing Life’s Challenges Directly & Creatively
Often, we find a primary concern so uncomfortable that we transition to a secondary concern. We might find a life situation troubling, with no obvious way to avoid a consequence that we don’t want. And with this dilemma, we are likely to feel anxious. 
But instead of staying with the situation, doing our best to find a way forward, we might begin to be overly troubled about our anxiety and become anxious about being anxious.  
Another example is the emotion of anger. If we stay tuned into our inner processes, we might notice that what proceeded that anger was feeling hurt, experiencing unfairness, sadness or embarrassment. 
But those primary emotions may be so uncomfortable for us that we escalate into anger, with the notion that we must do something! An angry call to action often involves aggressive behavior such as shouting, attacking those we care about, or turning our anger inward and stewing. 
Next time you are feeling out of sorts, do your best to stay with whatever it is that brought on those feelings. Attempt to deal with the situation directly and be aware of any move from primary feelings to secondary ones, which will not help you face life’s challenges directly and creatively.  Here is a link to an article I wrote that relates. It is on communicating frustration without arguing.

+ An Artistic Link: 

As melancholy as the song is, there is also hope contained within it. I hope that the hope of the song prevails. Please think of our suffering fellow humans in Ukraine, as well as those brave protestors in Russia.